The Power of Compliments: What They Do to Your Brain and Your Connections

Last updated: February 3, 2026

March 1 is World Compliment Day. A nice reminder, but honestly: a sincere compliment can be valuable every single day.
https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/fun/world-compliment-day

Compliments may seem small, but they can do a lot. For the atmosphere in a friendship, your relationship, at work, and sometimes also for how you feel mentally. It is a simple form of recognition. And recognition is a basic human need.

What happens in your brain when you receive a compliment

Research shows that social appreciation and positive feedback can be processed by the brain as a reward. In brain research, scientists often look at the striatum, a region that is also involved in reward and motivation.

A well known study in Neuron showed that social rewards such as a good reputation and positive feedback can activate the same reward circuits as financial rewards.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18439412/

Other studies also describe how praise and attention are linked to activation in the reward system, including the ventral striatum.
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep24561

Important: this does not mean that a compliment solves everything. It does mean that it can be a small positive signal that supports connection and motivation.

Sincere feels different from flattery

Not every compliment feels the same. If something is exaggerated or does not feel genuine, it often feels awkward. Interestingly, that has also been studied. An fMRI study compared sincere praise with flattery and found differences in how people value and process them. The main takeaway: trustworthiness and sincerity matter.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9974641/

Why compliments can be especially valuable in stressful times

Gen Z and millennials often live with a lot of stimulation, comparison, and pressure. In those moments, a small moment of recognition can help someone land again. Not as a quick fix, but as a micro moment of connection.

Compliments are especially helpful when they contribute to:

• Safety: I am allowed to be here
• Connection: I belong
• Growth: I can see that I am moving forward

How to give a compliment that truly lands

Here are 7 practical rules that almost always help.

1) Be specific

Do not just say “well done,” but name what you actually saw.
Example: “I noticed how calm you stayed during that conversation. I thought that was really strong.”

2) Focus on behaviour or effort, not just talent

This matches what many education and psychology sources recommend: praise the approach, strategy, and effort.
https://www.apa.org/education-career/k12/using-praise

Example: “You kept practising until it worked. That perseverance is really admirable.”

3) Mention the effect

Example: “Your message made me feel less alone.”

4) Keep it believable

One sincere sentence is better than five exaggerated ones.

5) Make it personal

Example: “I appreciate that you always check how I’m really doing.”

6) Avoid making appearance the standard compliment

Appearance can absolutely be part of it, but try not to make it the default. Many people receive very little appreciation for their character, choices, or personal growth.

7) Choose your timing with attention

A compliment in between two notifications can still be nice, but it works more strongly when you are really present for a moment.

Examples you can use right away

For a friend

• “I really admire how honest you dare to be, even when it feels uncomfortable.”
• “You really helped me today just by listening for a moment.”

For your partner

• “I feel safe with you because you do not immediately try to fix everything, you first try to understand.”
• “Thank you for giving me space. That really helped me.”

At work or school

• “Your explanation was really clear. I understood it straight away because of that.”
• “You took responsibility without making it dramatic. That made things better for everyone.”

Receiving compliments is difficult for many people

Some people feel uncomfortable with compliments, especially if your self image is low or if you are used to hearing mainly criticism. That is normal.

Three simple ways to practise receiving them anyway:

Just say “thank you” and let it stay there for a moment

Repeat the compliment in your head without pushing it away

Ask a follow up if you do not quite feel it: “What made you notice that?”

You do not have to fully believe it straight away in order to still receive it.

Mini challenge: 5 days, 5 compliments

Day 1: give a compliment about someone’s effort
Day 2: give a compliment about someone’s character
Day 3: give a compliment about someone’s choice or boundary
Day 4: give a compliment that you would normally only think
Day 5: give a compliment to someone who would not expect it

Small, but often noticeable in the atmosphere and in connection.

What this has to do with Like Charlie

Like Charlie is here to make mental health easier to talk about and to encourage open conversations. Compliments can play a role in that, because they help create connection and a feeling of being seen.

View all story print T shirts:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/collections/t-shirts

Discover the question card game to make real conversations easier:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/collections/vragenspellen

Read our story and find out who Charlie is:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/pages/het-verhaal

Helpful resources if you are struggling mentally

A compliment can feel good, but if you are really stuck, extra support matters.

Young people: https://www.injebol.nl/
Adults: https://wijzijnmind.nl/

Sources

World Compliment Day date:
https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/fun/world-compliment-day

Social reward and the brain’s reward system (Neuron, Izuma et al., 2008):
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18439412/

Praise, attention, and activation of the reward system (Scientific Reports, 2016):
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep24561

Sincere praise versus flattery (Fujiwara et al., 2023, open access):
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9974641/

Practical guidelines for effective praise (APA):
https://www.apa.org/education-career/k12/using-praise