The Impact of Societal Expectations on Social Pressure Among Gen Z and Millennials

Last updated: February 3, 2026

Social media can increase social pressure, but there is another layer that often goes even deeper: societal expectations. The idea that you need to follow a certain path, become “successful” on time, always be productive, look good, live an interesting life, and somehow stay emotionally stable at the same time.

A lot of Gen Zers and millennials recognise that feeling. And honestly, I do too. I’m glad I learned to recognise it, because only then can you actually do something with it.

This article is meant as inspiration and practical support. It is not medical advice. If you feel stuck, contact your GP.

What are societal expectations?

Societal expectations are unwritten rules about how life is supposed to look. For example:

• You should quickly know what you want
• You should achieve goals, otherwise you are falling behind
• You should always keep growing and improving
• You should be able to combine everything without it visibly taking effort
• You should build a “perfect” life with work, love, friends, health, and fun

What makes this difficult is that these expectations often settle into your mind without you noticing. Then it starts to feel like you are the one falling short, while in reality you are reacting to pressure from the outside.

Why Gen Z and millennials may feel this more strongly

These generations are growing up in a time with endless choices, constant comparison, and a lot of uncertainty. Think of performance pressure in education and work, expectations around career and income, housing stress, and a constant stream of opinions and trends. All of that can make people question themselves more quickly: am I doing this right, am I behind, should I already be further along by now?

What research shows about performance pressure and perfectionism

In the Netherlands, performance pressure among young people is often mentioned as something very common. Trimbos, for example, describes that around 1 in 3 young people experience performance pressure, feeling that they have to live up to expectations.
https://www.trimbos.nl/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/TRI-62-058-Rapport-Als-je-door-de-bomen-het-bos-niet-meer-ziet.pdf

International research also shows that perfectionism among young people has increased over the past decades. That does not mean everyone is a perfectionist, but it does suggest that high standards and pressure to meet them have become more common.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29283599/

It is important to say this clearly: societal pressure is not just your personal issue. It is part of the environment around you, and it affects how you feel, how you make choices, and how much space you feel you have.

Self compassion as a counterbalance

When societal expectations hit hard, many people become harder on themselves. More control, more pushing, more self criticism. But that often works against you.

Self compassion is not about feeling sorry for yourself. It is about treating yourself the way you would treat a good friend when they are having a hard time.

Meta analyses show that self compassion interventions generally help reduce stress and depressive symptoms, and to a smaller extent anxiety.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10239723/

You can find more explanation about self compassion and how to practise it here:
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2016/09/ce-corner

8 practical steps to make societal pressure less dominant

1) Define your own version of success

Write down in 5 sentences what success means to you, separate from status and expectations. Think of peace, freedom, health, creativity, and connection.

2) Choose your top 5 values

Examples: honesty, growth, freedom, family, impact, adventure, peace, creativity, connection.
Pick your top 5 and write down one action for each value that you can take this week.

3) Pay attention to your inner voice

If you often think “I have to,” “I should,” or “I’m behind,” that is probably the expectation speaking, not your real need. Try replacing “I have to” with “I choose to.”

4) Make your world smaller

Too much input makes pressure feel bigger. Choose one or two people you can really talk to, instead of carrying around the weight of a hundred opinions.

5) Compare less when you feel vulnerable

Tired, stressed, alone, or overstimulated? Comparison tends to hit harder in those moments. Plan something that calms your system instead.

6) Practise boundaries

Boundaries are not harsh or selfish. They are maintenance. Starting small works best: one less plan, one evening without too many stimuli, one time saying no.

7) Normalise mistakes

Mistakes are not proof that you are failing. They are information. Ask yourself: what would I want to learn from this, without tearing myself down?

8) Make room for recovery

Recovery is not a reward after performance. Recovery is a foundation. Sleep, movement, relaxation, and connection are not extras.

A short exercise for today

Take 3 minutes and make two lists:

• Expectations I feel
• What I actually need

Then choose one mini action that matches your need. Something you can do within 15 minutes.

What this has to do with Like Charlie

Like Charlie is here to make mental health easier to talk about and to encourage open conversations. Social pressure is a theme we come across often, including in the stories people share with us.

Our story print T shirts are designed to make these themes visible and to make conversations easier to start.
View all story print T shirts:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/collections/t-shirts

We have also developed a question card game to help people have real conversations in an accessible way.
Discover the question card game:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/collections/vragenspellen

Read our story and find out who Charlie is:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/pages/het-verhaal

When extra support is a good idea

If you notice that pressure, stress, or low mood lasts a long time, or if it starts to interfere with your daily life, talk about it with someone you trust and contact your GP.

Young people: https://www.injebol.nl/
Adults: https://wijzijnmind.nl/

FAQ

How do I know if societal expectations are affecting me too much?

If you often feel rushed, are afraid of failing, cannot enjoy what is going well, or only feel valuable when you are achieving something.

What is a realistic first step?

Write down three expectations you feel and place one personal value next to them. Then make one small choice that fits your value.

Does self compassion really help?

For many people, yes. Especially because it reduces self criticism and makes recovery easier. See the meta analysis and explanation in the sources.

How do I talk about this with friends?

Start small and honestly: “I feel a lot of pressure to get things right, and I don’t want to carry that alone.” That often opens up a real conversation straight away.

Sources

Trimbos report on performance pressure and mental pressure
https://www.trimbos.nl/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/TRI-62-058-Rapport-Als-je-door-de-bomen-het-bos-niet-meer-ziet.pdf

Perfectionism is increasing among young people, meta analysis (Curran and Hill)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29283599/

Meta analysis on the effects of self compassion interventions
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10239723/

APA explanation of self compassion
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2016/09/ce-corner