Why Stress Is the Main Reason People Ignore Their Personal Health and Happiness

 

Last updated: February 3, 2026

In the previous blog, I wrote that the education system is not seen as the main cause of the performance pressure young people experience. In this blog, I want to zoom in on the causes that adult Dutch respondents do place at the top.

The insights below come from the report “Inzicht in prestatiedruk door het Nederlandse publiek” by the Dutch Collaborative Health Funds. The research was conducted among 1,500 Dutch adults aged 18 and over.
https://www.gezondegeneratie.nl/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/33067.-SGF-Inzicht-in-prestatiedruk-rapportage-5-december-2022-2.pdf

Please note: this article is meant as information and practical support, not as medical advice. If your symptoms last for a long time or affect your daily life, discuss it with your GP.

It often starts with stress, and that makes sense

According to the SGF report, stress is an important negative factor in how people rate their own health and life. Stress can come from school or education, but also from your home situation, social media, money worries, or anxiety about the future.

And stress affects your choices. Under stress, your world becomes smaller. You start thinking more in terms of have to, quick, now, later, and it becomes harder to choose what is actually good for your health. As a result, the things that usually help you most, such as sleep, movement, rest, time outside, and real conversations, are often the first to disappear from your schedule.

What adults in the Netherlands are noticing in young people

A majority of people in the Netherlands are aware of mental health problems among young people. At the same time, only a small share rates the mental health of young people as good to very good. The report also shows that this is lower than how people rate their own mental health.

What also stands out is which causes Dutch adults most often mention for mental health issues in young people:

high screen time and social media use

worries about the future, such as student debt, climate change, and housing prices

performance pressure and social pressure

So these are not separate themes. It is a combination that together can create a constant feeling of always being switched on.

Additional context from De Gezonde Generatie:
https://www.gezondegeneratie.nl/nieuws/prestatiedruk-op-jeugd-is-ongezond-hoog-vindt-meerderheid-nederlanders/

The feeling of having to do too much as the core issue

According to respondents in the SGF report, the feeling of having too much to do in a day is the main cause of high performance pressure in young people.

What often sits underneath that feeling:

a performance focused culture in society

a distorted image created by the content young people consume on social media

high expectations from parents

a worsening outlook on the future

the idea that everything is achievable if you just work hard enough

pressure young people put on themselves

pressure from peers and the fear of being left behind

What I find important here is this: it is not only about school. It is about a whole system of expectations and comparison, in which you can start to feel like you need to be good at everything, all the time.

Why stress often leads to ignoring health and happiness

When your head is full of things you feel you have to do, this is usually what happens:

You move into survival mode, not into conscious choice

You prioritise what feels urgent, not what is truly important

You keep going on willpower until your system starts pushing back

And then you get the result that also comes back in the respondents’ comments: there is less room to discover yourself, be yourself, make mistakes, and make choices that genuinely fit who you are.

That is exactly why this theme fits Like Charlie. Mental health is not only about talking when things are going badly. It is also about how we live, choose, and connect when life feels overwhelming.

6 practical steps to make stress less dominant

Here are six steps that start small, but often make a difference quickly.

1) Make your “have to” list visible

Write down everything you think you have to do today. Then add this next to each line:

Do I really have to do this, or does it just feel that way?

What happens if I do this tomorrow instead?

Just doing this often creates more space already.

2) Choose one non negotiable basic need

Choose one thing that protects your health every day.
Examples: 7 hours of sleep, a 20 minute walk, one proper meal, one real conversation.

3) Set a boundary around stimulation time

Choose two fixed moments to check social media. Outside of those moments, keep your phone out of sight.

If you want, you can use National Offline Day as a starting point to practise this:
https://netwerkmediawijsheid.nl/activiteit/nationale-offline-dag/

4) Make your world smaller when your mind feels too full

Choose one person who feels safe and say one honest sentence.
For example: I’m feeling a lot of pressure and I just want to share it for a moment.

5) Reduce decision stress

If you keep doubting, limit your options to 3 and set yourself a deadline. Choosing something good enough is often healthier than trying to choose perfectly.

6) Schedule recovery as if it were an appointment

Recovery is not an extra. Recovery is maintenance.
Put one recovery moment in your calendar for this week. A walk, exercise, rest, time outside, or simply doing nothing.

What this has to do with Like Charlie

Like Charlie is here to make mental health easier to talk about and to start and keep the conversation going. If stress and performance pressure make you lose touch with yourself, then we want to help you return to what feels true.

View all story print T shirts:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/collections/t-shirts

Discover the question card game to make open conversations easier:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/collections/vragenspellen

Read our story and find out who Charlie is:
https://www.likecharlieclothing.com/pages/het-verhaal

FAQ

How do I know if stress is driving my choices?

If you mainly live based on urgency, recover very little, sleep worse, and your head keeps feeling full. Then it is time to plan smaller and protect your basics.

Why does it feel like I am always behind?

Because under pressure, your brain compares more quickly and sees shortcomings more easily. That is a stress response, not the truth.

What is the fastest way to feel more calm?

Choose one 20 minute recovery action, put your phone out of sight, and do something physical like walking. After that, making choices often feels easier.

When is it wise to ask for help?

If stress, anxiety, or low mood lasts for weeks or affects your daily functioning. Start with your GP.
Young people: https://www.injebol.nl/
Adults: https://mindhulplijn.nl/

Sources

Dutch Collaborative Health Funds, Public insight into performance pressure, report
https://www.gezondegeneratie.nl/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/33067.-SGF-Inzicht-in-prestatiedruk-rapportage-5-december-2022-2.pdf

De Gezonde Generatie, news about performance pressure and causes according to people in the Netherlands
https://www.gezondegeneratie.nl/nieuws/prestatiedruk-op-jeugd-is-ongezond-hoog-vindt-meerderheid-nederlanders/